if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
