No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
