Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Farmville is her only friend.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
