She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
