You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
