your room smells of hookers.
And success
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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