when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
