And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize