So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
