I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
