Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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