i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize