went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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