just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
