Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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