you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
