Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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