Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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