I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
