Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
