look no pants
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
