Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
