I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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