Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
