I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize