Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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