we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize