I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
