Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
