how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
