Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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