how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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