i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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