I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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