I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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