nut hugger
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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