Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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