I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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