My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Barsexuality is the new black.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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