wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize