I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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