i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize