ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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