I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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