he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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