she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Someone signed my nipple.
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