so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
