Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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