I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
