That's when you crack a 10am beer
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize