im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
