I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
