I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
