I think I am morally bankrupt
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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