And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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