i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
