how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
