fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
