I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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