There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
