we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
