I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize