Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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