Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize